Thursday, September 13, 2012

heavy hearts

We are so sad to say that Poppa passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly last Sunday, 9/9/12.  He fought hard and he fought strong and in the end, his body just couldn't take anymore.  He was always stubborn, always tough and he fought the good fight to the very end, just like the proud Marine that he is. 

He died at home, very quickly and with my mom.  They are guessing it was a heart attack or a blood clot.  He was in no pain.  That is what he would have wanted and we have the comfort of knowing that he never was in hospice care, never in the hospital, never kept alive on a respirator.  He was independent for the entire journey.  He did it on his terms.  We just weren't ready, and we never would have been.

He was an inspiration to so many people, not just through this fight, but for his entire life.  He was an amazing person, the best kind, and he knew how to make people feel loved and special.  We will never be the same without his big spirit, his humor, his hugs and his constant watching out for all of us.  We are trying very hard to get through each day, but he was the hero and the mascot of our family, and there is just a big hole without him. 

We will be holding services to remember him this Saturday at:

England Family Mortuary
27135 Madison Ave
Temecula, Ca 92590
951-695-8555

Everyone is welcome to join us.  We will also be having a lunch at my parent's house, immediately after the service. 

We are very grateful that through this journey, we have always felt so loved, so supported, so cared about.  Thank you to everyone who has stood by us, and who continue to now.

Team Poppa will be forever.  He will always be our champion. 

....Team Poppa


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

fist pump!

The thing about cancer is that you never know what's happening on the inside.  Dad is checking all the boxes, doing all the work of going forward with all the treatments and meds and we are hoping and praying that it's doing the job we want it to.

But, the truth is we don't know.  We just have to keep walking forward, taking the next step in faith. 

That is what we are doing.  Every day, we just keep taking steps. 

Dad is 2 weeks down and 3 to go with the radiation.  There are no "progress reports" - we can't peek and find out whether it's working.  So, once the 5th week is finished, there will be another scan and that will be the big reveal.  But, we gotta get through the next three weeks first. 

The first round of chemo is 25 days in and will complete on 9/9.  Ideally, round 2 of chemo will start on 9/10.  But, that is dependent on Dad's strength level.  We have no control over that either, so we just control what we can {nutrition, hydration, pain management and nausea} and hope that his body responds.  We are holding out hope and moving forward in faith, that all things will work together and get Dad the best possible outcome.

Today Dad had his weekly appointment with his Radiologist, Dr. Volpp.  It went really great.  It seems like every week, we hold our breath until after we see the doctor.  Dad gained another 8 pounds over last week {YAY!!!} and was just generally in better spirits. 

As we near the end of the chemo round, it is typical, we are told, that the patient will start feeling better and then just when that strength is starting to peak, the next round of chemo hits like a bad dream and it's back to square one. 

When Dr.Volpp told Dad how happy he was to see him doing so much better than last week, Dad gave a fist pump!  A fist pump!!  It's hard to put it into words, but this disease wears down more than the body.  It also attempts to break your spirit.  Dad is a strong and powerful man.  He has a giant heart.  His presence fills up the room.  But...that guy has been hidden from view a little lately, under the giant avalanche that is cancer. So, today, to see that, to see his fist pump, it was just a great moment. 

Traveling this journey teaches you to appreciate each small victory, each meaningful moment. Tomorrow we will deal with tomorrow, and whatever that may bring, but today is pretty good.  Today is a fist pump day!!


....Team Poppa